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There's a specific moment in Aikido training. It doesn't happen on schedule. You can't force it where something shifts, you stop trying to make the technique work and it works.
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Let's jump in.
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To this day, I remember this one throw
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from when I was maybe fourth kyu I was getting so frustrated with my partner and he kept giving me advice.
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he was telling me move bigger, move bigger, move bigger. And finally I got angry and I moved really, really big. A huge ten Kong and he flew. And then I came with this Nick. Yo. Right. And he went, wow. Great. You know, and at first I thought I heard him and he was thrilled.
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Like, wow, she got it. And so everybody was okay. I didn't hurt him at all. But I was such a beginner that I was like, oh, oh my gosh, did I hurt him? Anyway, I had been trying and trying and trying with my arms against this strong guy, by the way. And then finally I gave up on that and I just moved huge and he flew around me.
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So there I have so many stories where, you know, I was trying to try and trying. And then when I stopped trying, it worked. And when I was a beginner, I always thought, oh, they're just faking it for me. But then as you start to as your skill develops and you train with
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people who are more beginner than yourself, you start to notice, oh yeah,
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their physical strength is actually making me resist against them.
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So.
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what does this actually mean? First of all, it's not obvious. It doesn't mean that you're being aggressive. Just because you're pushing and trying. It means that you're working against their structure, not with it. So if you're pushing into your partner in a certain way, you can make them more stable.
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Simple example, somebody standing
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feet at about shoulder width, standing there, if you push down on their shoulders, that pushes them right into the earth, that makes them more stable.
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So that's a simple example that we can all understand.
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But what makes Aikido so difficult and so challenging, but so wondrous and amazing, is that while the person is moving,
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we're looking for how can I enhance their movement
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actually help them become
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less stable?
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So this is a really big challenge. This is really difficult
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What does it mean fighting with your partner. So again, it doesn't mean that you're being aggressive. It just means that you're working against their structure. Resistance and connections sometimes feel like the same thing,
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especially to a beginner. You say, oh, stay connected.
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Stay connected. And
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you feel this resistance resistance in them. Since they're still learning Aikido and still developing a sense for it. And the nervous system recognizes the difference even when the thinking mind doesn't. So you're transmitting to your partner. Just like if you shake hands with somebody. We've all shaken hands with various different hand shakers, and they transmit something to us, don't they?
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A firm handshake or like a really dominating handshake or a very weak handshake. They all transmit something and we notice it consciously or subconsciously. So it's it's the same thing. And this is really worthwhile study, by the way, if you're interested in topics like that I do send out a weekly Aikido training videos newsletter. So look in the description below for that if you want to jump on, it's free.
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Getting back to this idea of fighting and then dropping the fight,
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the shift when you finally do drop this fighting feeling
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what it feels like. So the technique stops beginning with your intention, and it starts to begin with uke's intention. In other words, when uke is still is just approaching you, you're already starting the technique. You are starting to put your
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feet where they need to be, or sink into your knees a little bit more.
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Whatever it is, it starts earlier and
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you're not necessarily leading.
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You're just already there. You're you're in the place where you need to be when they've arrived,
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because you can read where they're going to be.
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And this is not a metaphor. It's a description of something physically specific happening in your body.
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You prepare
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within yourself.
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And the more you can calm your mind,
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the easier it will be to prepare yourself for their entrance. So how do we practice towards this?
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It's it's a lot. So first of all, training slower
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does not feel productive sometimes but it can be very very productive. So I would really encourage you to train slowly. Again, as I said in a recent video, speed is oftentimes where mistakes and bad habits hide.
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So going slow can be really good as long as you don't get lazy, keep your knees bent, keep, you know, expanding and contracting your core, things like that. So
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slowing down in a beneficial way, not just being lazy. Also
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be willing to have the technique fail completely. So in Aikido, we get used to this idea that our partner is supposed to fall down and it's us who's got to throw them to make them fall down.
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But when somebody attacks, they're taking a risk. They're they're taking a risk. If they punch towards something and and they the target is suddenly not there. They're risking going off balance, are they not? So
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there's a risk of losing balance when somebody attacks. So
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see if you can find that and then move accordingly.
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And also give yourself permission for the technique to fail, for them to not fall down, for you to not be able to throw the person. I've said in a numerous videos now a wonderful quote from my sensei you get good at what you do. So when we have this mindset that they're supposed to fall down and I'm the one who's supposed to throw them to make them fall down, then we oftentimes abandon our goal.
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So if our goal, maybe you have a goal where you really want to slam people around and you don't care about your posture or whatever. But I had some influences. People who just like Yamaguchi sensei, Takeda Shingen Numata sensei. Yes. And they have impeccable posture and composure. And I felt what it feels like to be thrown by that person.
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And that's what I want. That's my goal, I think. Wow, that's so cool. That's what I want my aikido to look like. Maybe you have a different image of how you want your Aikido to look. But anyway, since that's how I want my Aikido to look, and I want it to to feel irresistible to uke
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like it did to me taking me from them because of that, if I get to a point and I realize they're not falling down, they were supposed to fall already, then I have a choice to either try to force them down or to
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take inventory of my alignment and see what I can do differently.
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If I just force them down, I got a little bit better at something that I don't really want to get good at, right? And if I stop and I look at my alignment and
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the quality of the contact point and I try to fix that, maybe, maybe I got a tiny bit better at that.
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I preserved that opportunity for research on what I want as my goal.
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Again, if I had forced them down, then I would have lost the opportunity to practice something that will help me towards my goal, and I would have taken an opportunity to get that much better at something that I don't want to get better at. So be careful.
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Slow down. Be willing to let the technique fail so that you can check to see what's working and what isn't. So this is information. When the technique doesn't work, it's information. Collect that information. And by the way, it doesn't necessarily mean that the technique failed just because your partner didn't fall down. Who knows? Is that partner 70 years old and just coming back from a back injury or something?
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Oh, they're going to like disengage before you get to the point of of the fall, most likely to preserve themselves so that they don't re-injure themselves. So you have to also recognize when it was a failure and when it was a success, or somebody else falling for everybody flying through the air because your technique is good. Maybe. Maybe not.
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Maybe they just love flying through the air and taking ukemi you know, taking the rolls. So anyway. Don't be afraid of your technique failing.
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and by the way, it's really a really good thing that you can do is train with a huge variety of people. Of course, you've got your circle week in and week out at your own home dojo, but then if you branch out and you go to seminars, even seminars outside your own organization's seminars, then you meet people who move in ways that you don't expect, and then you get to see what what works, what's the common language.
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and by the way, if you're interested in joining some of my seminars, I've got a seminar in Shanghai coming up in just a couple of weeks, August 28th through 30th. I'll be in San Diego the fourth through the 6th of September, and Germany. I'm taking a tour, a group with me through four cities in Germany Heidelberg, Bonn, Dusseldorf, Sehnde. wonderful sightseeing cities and we will also be training in dojos in every city.
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And then we'll have some study time between classes in between cities. It'll be a small curated group, so jump on the waitlist.
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The link is in the description below
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Let's wrap up here. In conclusion, when you stop fighting with your partner, you're not being soft or necessarily or it's not a negative thing, you're being more accurate and you're taking more notice of yourself. So the force was never necessary. It was just covering for a lack of precision. Thanks so much for joining me today. I hope you join me for my Germany tour and I'll see you real soon.
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Bye bye.
